BLOOD BOUND: It’s “Twilight” But With Incest Instead Of Vampires

There’s nothing quite like a film that makes you laugh when it doesn’t mean to, but nothing disappointing quite like one that has the potential to be much more. Still, a bizarre plot, some chuckle-worthy exposition dumps, and a little sprinkling of cousin-on-cousin romance makes the time spent at least a bit worthwhile.

Enter Blood bound: an equal parts fascinating, puzzling, hilarious, f*cked up, wonderful maelstrom of a film, that starts off in a similar vein to the “Home Invasion Flipped on its Head” sub-genre of horror, but becomes, to its very bones, like a mirror image of Twilight. From the hot, moody family with supernatural powers and an inclination for (licking?) human blood, to the cool-toned, hyper-saturated cinematography, incidental impregnation, and unlikely (if only feigned) romance with a man who is just as attractive as he is predatory, it’s like if Edward Cullen didn’t have fangs but was allowed to say “f*ck”.

However, with some genuinely decent performances from a few of its lead cast, and an intriguing, though messy, premise, Blood Bound is an entertaining if truly ridiculous film.

Come For the Money, Stay for the Compulsory Blood Pact

In a sleepy little rural town somewhere outside of Nowheresville, United States, teenage burnouts Kerry and Sean (Eden Brolin and Eric Nelsen, respectively) disappoint their parents by doing heroin with their friend Brian (Justiin A. Davis) and committing the occasional armed home invasion. Kerry is a police officer’s daughter with more potential than she’ll allow of herself and a rebellious streak, and Sean… well, ok, we don’t really know much about Sean, other than he has a Calvin Klein underwear model for a brother who looks absolutely nothing like him (the actor who plays Sean could be a Culkin). Ditto for Brian; we just know his mom committed suicide when he was a child, his aunt works at the local diner, and he’s pretty inconsequential at best.

So, for the most part, things are going pretty great for this little rat pack. They’ve participated in some clumsily shot home invasion sequences, have evaded retribution for their drug abuse, and just got word of an unsuspecting new couple in town packing a ton of loose cash. It’s too good to be true – a little too good to be true, but of course our plucky heroes wouldn’t smell plot convenience from a mile away.

This new couple, comprised of Raul (Joseph Melendez) and Sarita (Rosa Arredondo), whom our degenerate trio eavesdrops on while at the diner, converse with their waitress about concerns for their safety and the safety of their assets due to word of multiple recent break-ins. The waitress assures them that it’s a safe town, while the teen culprits are merely a few feet away and ingesting every precious detail. So, with very little common sense and a lot of thick-headedness, Kerry, Sean, and Brian enter these innocent folks’ home in the middle of the night clad in black – only to have the entire operation take a turn for the unexpected in a way that echoes horror films You’re Next or From a House on Willow Street.

The couple from the diner ambushes the trio, and Sarita begins to emit strange and powerful CGI waves from her palm while reciting incantations in a foreign language, and before you know it the trio are rollicking off into the woods with the couple from the diner as they are joined by two new friends, David (Ross Wellinger) and Elicia (Vanessa Rubio),  participating involuntarily in a ritual that the witches from 2015’s The Witch would have probably cackled at.

Like any good hosts would do for their burglars after forcing them to partake in a supernatural ceremony complete with an unfortunate (but as tastefully shot as it probably could’ve been) rape scene, they all conjoin back in the house before the night is through, and let the trio know that they’ll be seeing them again real soon. Thus, commences the downhill journey of Kerry, Sean, and the inconsequential Brian, as they find themselves both incapable of relaying to anyone what happened to them that traumatizing night, and also prying themselves from a compulsory blood bond with the members of the freaky family and their months-spanning ritual that only kicked off with the night of the break-in.

However, it is Kerry who reaps most of the ritual’s worst consequences. Not only has she become impregnated, but she is forced to carry the child for the family’s twisted supernatural needs, as well as… pretend to be David’s girlfriend? Who reveals in a very cringe-worthy picnic date scene that the only people he’s ever had sex with are his family members. Amazing!

Talented Actors, Unintentional Hilarity

The film’s biggest asset, aside from its unintentional humor and entertainment value, is its performances both bad and good, with a committed one from the actress who plays Kerry, Eden Brolin – none other than Josh Brolin’s daughter! She manages to take the oft ludicrous material and make it seem genuinely affecting, her acting quite authentic and human, though sometimes almost too good in comparison to many of the other less talented players working in tandem with her. Eric Nelsen, who plays Sean, is adept as well, and his scenes with Kerry putting on display their complicated and twisted young reprobate romance are definite highlights.

Though many of the other actors are not quite as up to par (there’s a hilarious interaction between Kerry and Sean with two girls from school at the diner, where the two girls are so awkward with their lines you become all too aware that they’re reading off a script), their performances are never bland, let alone uninteresting.

The family of Raul, David, Elicia, and Sarita play their characters like deliciously off-brand Cullens, and Ross Wellinger is so irritating as the virginal and naïve, yet voracious David, it has its own perverted kind of charm. And there are a couple other characters that’ll get unintentional guffaws as well, but this critic will leave them up to your own discovery.

Promising, but Not a Genuine Success

Overall, the premise of the film is solid. A mysterious, incestuous family who partake in blood rituals for an as yet unknown reason, a few damaged, susceptible kids, with build-up that keeps you guessing and tension that’s palpable enough to cut with a knife. But, unfortunately, thanks to some miscalculated exposition dumps and questionably messy plot progression, any intrigue that could be derived from the initial concept is promptly taken away, and the film becomes akin to a so-bad-it’s-good vehicle despite the few aspects of it that are truly good.

Additionally, there’s not nearly enough blood and gore to complement these assumedly grisly rituals, especially when there are so many frequent throwings-around of the F-bomb but no blood and guts until the very last minute. There’s also a self-awareness that the film lacks to make it feel genuinely smart, and which makes it come off as funny instead. While a clear glimpse of filmmaking ability is present, it’s all too overshadowed by the missteps in structure and storytelling, as well as literally shadowed by a horrendously saturated color filter that makes any scenes shot at nighttime like wading through a puddle of tar.

Blood Bound: Conclusion

There’s one particularly amusing scene not halfway through the film, featuring a confrontation between Kerry, Elicia, and Sarita. Fed up with everything that’s happening to her, Kerry cries out to the two women “Why me? What did I do to you?” which might prompt one to remember that she literally broke into their house with the intent of stealing all their money. It is this lack of self-awareness that makes Blood Bound a good film to watch if you’re looking for 98-minutes of chuckles and seat-squirming, but you’ll still be abundantly aware that it could’ve been a whole lot more.

Will you be seeing Blood Bound? How do you feel about “So-Bad-It’s-Good” movies? Let us know in the comments!

Blood Bound has a limited release in the US on January 15, 2019.For all international release dates, see here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ9XV-GZSxs