“I Wrote It Really, For My Family.” Interview With Elizabeth Chomko, Writer/Director Of WHAT THEY HAD

Elizabeth Chomko has been active as an actress in theater and film, as well as a playwright. Now, her directorial debut What They Had, for which she also wrote the screenplay, gives us a memorable take on a family during crisis. It’s an impressive debut, and I was lucky enough to speak with Chomko about just how personal this story was for her, and on what she hopes it will mean to her audience.

Kristy Strouse for Film Inquiry. I really loved the film, I thought it was really powerful. You also found great ways to incorporate humor. Congratulations!

Elizabeth Chomko: Thank you!

You wrote and directed the film, and with a story such as this, I’m wondering, did you draw from any personal experiences?

Elizabeth Chomko:  Yes I did, the story is inspired by my family and my grandparents. Kind of what I observed my family going through the time that my grandmother had Alzheimer’s and memory loss. And just sort of the challenges of caregiving, and that having to parent a parent, the dynamic shift at that time. I wrote it really, for my family, to sort of deal with the grief surrounding it. My grandparents I was really close to them. 

Was it difficult to find ways to work the light moments in, given the dramatic nature of the story?

Elizabeth Chomko: Well, that was something that I wanted to do from the beginning. I remember when my grandmother was first diagnosed. My family, we were from Chicago, and we are laughers. I grew up being teased by my Uncles in a good-natured way where you feel special and we would laugh like crazy and when my grandmother was first diagnosed I was thinking that would be something we would lose and I was devastated about it. Like how could anything be funny anymore?

So, I just realized that was so not the case, as we all cope with it the same way, as we cope with everything: we laugh our way through it. My grandmother laughed and never took herself or her disease too seriously. There were many things about her presentation of her disease that were surprising to me and that was one that I was particularly frightened about.

So, what I wanted to do was capture that, capture that truth and how that really felt, laughter through tears! That is my favorite emotion.  And also, to see how closely I could walk that tightrope between hilarity and heartbreak because those two share a border. I tried to do that.

You did, you did a great job and I agree that those are closely intertwined and you kind of need laughter.

Elizabeth Chomko: I think so because what else are you going to do? If you’re not laughing then you’re in hell.

You’re from Chicago, is that what made you decide to set the story there?

Elizabeth Chomko: Yes, I grew up In Chicago until I was a teenager and then my family moved away, we moved to Belgium – randomly. We always intended to go back to Chicago but we never ended up doing that. We went to Northern California after for my last year of High School. I just still feel like Chicago is home, and in a way for me it was like a long lost homecoming. I wrote the movie there, shot the movie there, and it was also important for me that the story had the sort of morality that is there. That challenge of what to do when there is no right or wrong thing, how that morality does or doesn’t hold up when there isn’t a clear, solid right thing to do.

I understand that. You were an actress first, did that factor into your insight on making the film?

Elizabeth Chomko: Definitely. Certainly the experience of just being on set. I was always really cheery but never really felt quite at home as an actor and I was always very curious on set, walking up to whoever and just sort of asking “What do you do here?” And just learning about the magic of movie making, and all the different individual tasks and discipline that goes into it.

But certainly writing characters. When you’re an actor you really have to love the character you’re playing and be an empathetic person. That certainly helped me tremendously as a writer. Especially writing dialogue, and what is a believable way to say something. Also, when working with the actors, trusting their instincts implicitly and really taking advantage of how the actors are really smart about people and wanting to take advantage of the emotional intelligence that they all brought to their roles.

Everyone in the cast was amazing, Did you have any of them in mind to start?

Elizabeth Chomko: Well, initially I really wanted to capture my grandparents and their death in a way. Watching someone lose their memory made me realize that they are really precious and they change and fade and go away whether or not you have any sort of illness. Then once I had the script in a closer place I always thought Forster was perfect for that and I wanted Danner because I thought she had the spirit of the woman that my grandmother was and Hilary… I just never dreamed I’d get, she’s so amazing. They are all just so amazing. Michael is such a Chicago guy and he’s such an extraordinary chameleon. It was really the best part, to see them all come to set and become these people and immediately, intimately family. It was really astonishing how easy and comfortably they got it. It was very cool to sit back and watch and try not to breathe so I didn’t screw it up.

Were there any challenges in making your first film?

Elizabeth Chomko: I would say everyday is challenging and every day requires some sort of miracle. It’s a battle, you fight for it until the end, to keep it going, keep the train moving and protect it and it’s certainly harder when it’s your first film.

We’re seeing more and more films directed by women (thankfully!) do you have any that you’ve seen that were inspirations to you? Favorites?

Elizabeth Chomko: Of course! I’m a huge Lynne Ramsay fan and I just love that moment in Ratcatcher with the balloon, just the beautiful absurdity of life. It’s just a really gritty portrait of life. This absurd image of this rat floating through outer space on a balloon… I just loved that, it’s so beautiful and so evocative.

Tamara Jenkins, I’m a big fan of her work and her writing, her amazing characters, she’s a genius with characters. Penny Marshall’s A League of Their Own has one of the best casts and the characters are so extraordinarily round and well written and it’s perfectly cast and performed. Just her ability to capture human beings, to have 12 women or whatever that’s on that baseball team, and they are so unique. It is just such a full portrait of that and I’m inspired by it.

Marielle Heller‘s Diary of a Teenage Girl… I can’t not talk about that movie because she was a class or a couple classes before me at the Sundance Institute and I’m so inspired by the achievements she made on that film. Nicole Holofcener as well. All of these women have paved the way and they’re amazing and I’m just so grateful to them. I am really excited to see more to come from female voices. They are some of my favorite movies and have really moved me.

I agree, all great choices. What are you hoping audiences will take away from the film?

Elizabeth Chomko: I didn’t set out to really say anything. It was really an endeavor about processing grief, but I’ve noticed when screening the film that a lot of people have said things like “I’m going through this with my family” and “I don’t talk to my brother anymore because this happened with my family”, so I’m just hoping people can see it and understand that they aren’t alone. Maybe it will spark dialogue in someone’s family and better prepare them for this moment and allow them to get through it with more ease and peace. That would be a lovely result for such a private thing that I tried to do.

Film Inquiry would like to thank Elizabeth Chomko for taking the time to speak with us. 

What They Had was released in the US on October 19, 2018 and will be in the UK in March of 2019. For all international release dates, see here.